This is the start of my new series about women. I’ve been wanting to write about my women friends, my clients and my female family members for a while. (Watch out, sister in-law!) You see, I last left you off with my 50 Days of 50 series, I wrote 50 blogs in 50 days leading up to my 50th birthday. But, as real life and reality blogging go, my mother became ill during this time and what was supposed to be a light funny look at ageing turned into a bitch-slap on my ranting face and tribute not-quite-finished. That was quite a while ago and I have turned the blog into an eBook titled, 50 Days Turning 50, and you may download the PDF version free if you like. It’s my gift to anyone who is reading this. The reason I bring up 50 Days of 50 is because, as I was writing it, I kept writing about my mom and the other women in my life and I thought, “I should write a 50 Days of Women series. Come on…, who could write more “dishilly” and lovingly about women than a hairdresser who has made a career and gladly lived a lifetime listening to them?
Other than blogging for TheLocalTourist.com, SassyMomsInTheCity.com, JudyTheShow.com, SalonSpaChat.com and MafiaHairdresser.com, I’ve been neglecting my creative writing by not blogging here at WordPress. The emotional toll of the 50 Days blog was immense so I shied away from creative writing for a while. You see, my mom passed away around my 50th but I kept writing and blogging on through that experience. I never published my mom’s story, here at WordPress, nor did I let the public know what really happened at the end of those 50 days. It took me over a year to even add those journals into the eBook version. But I’m free of that at last and now I want to get back to some fun.
Women are fascinating creatures and I don’t care how much gay men think that they have so much in common with them, they are not like us (men) at all. So, next week I’m going to dive in without abandon and I shall be the bearer of good spews about the “opposite sex.” I will be kind and I will be as factual as I know how to be which means that I can be almost as bitchy as a woman and I don’t mind telling a few fibs to make a point; like all ladies do.
I will choose my subjects at random. I may use real names. Every woman in my life should be wary of my pen because you are or have been in my life. I am a better man for this or I am completely at my wits end because of our differences, I will either glorify you or take you down for this. I was going to call this series 50 Days of Women… but,…. Yeah, let’s just call it 50 Days of Women: BUT I’M ONLY COMMITTING TO WRITING ONCE A WEEK, BEYOCH!
(Thank you to Janice G. Ross for igniting my writing today. Sometimes all it takes is a nudge on Twitter and you’re inspired to write again.)
I’ve just wasted hundreds of dollars, many hours, months, stress and lots of karma points trying to apply tech blogger savvy to my writing. I have a damned good book to sell, Mafia Hairdresser, and I will do everything it takes to make sure that as many people read it as possible; BUT I am throwing in the towel trying to become a professional blogger to do it. By the way, this is my #TechWeek “tribute,” and my hats-off-to-bloggers, and my shitty apology to my BF & social media friends who said they’d love to help me.
If you know me, I hang around a very cool group of Chicago social media specialists. They have thier own companies, are paid handsomely for thier blogging or Twitter services, and they have all learned how to utilize their posts to drive search engine rankings to thier benefits and connect with other bloggers. It is my understanding that WordPress is now the ultimate blogging application and that it is magic and a must for linking people to your product, profile and services. All my friends use it and they strongly recommended that I use it. It only took me two months to discover that it’s not a website or host and that my website’s builder is not compatible. I had to learn what a MySQL, SEO and figure out File Transfer Protocol (FTP) was and why I needed it. I also learned there is a whole inner-sanctum of WordPress users that remind me of the Dungeons & Dragons clubs of the past: I just don’t want to learn how to delve into the different levels–I just want to play!
You’d think that I would have asked my friends for some help after I bought a hosting service from Bluehost to replace my GoDaddy service and couldn’t figure out a new dashboard. But my BF is an IT specialist. Not a website builder, mind you, but he knows a hellava lot more about how to build a website and move a blogging application into it. Well, it turns out, it was the last thing he wanted to do and I tortured the poor man for two months so, by the time I had time to start asking help from friends, I was so brain-fried and frustrated that I got my money back from Bluehost (they were sweet & I’ll be back!) and trashed the idea of using the culty WordPress application and now I dare anyone to console me or tell me that they’d be glad to help me until I cool down. “I will cut you,” may not just be my motto.
I have read Smashwords Marketing Guide and WordPress All In One For Dummies, and countless manuals on how to upload my book for Kindle and iBook formats. I am as savvy as I’m going to get right now and I’m going reject anymore tech related material that comes my way. This Bloggy Blogger Blogspot will have to suffice for a while and now I will blog once a week here. I will still blog weekly for The Local Tourist magazine under my Twitter handle @mafiahairdreser and, hopefully, bloggers will blog about me. It’s enough, right?
So now, my immediate to-do list: I have book 2, The Glow Stick God, to get ready to be available on eBooks, Smashwords.com and MafiaHairdresser.com. That means promotional videos, press, social media and cover design before November. I am also writing book 3, Murder There’s An App For That, about the murder of a good friend and the sometimes dark and funny side of being plugged in all the time being a “social media expert.” Yes, friends, I’m writing about you. But, if you’ve read, Mafia Hairdresser, or the preview to The Glow Stick God on the eBook version, you wouldn’t worry-I’m nothing but a pissy hairdresser & an ex-professional party boy who writes–AND I fictionalize the truth & I don’t like to hurt anyone with my writing except, of course, myself.