50 Days of 50: If You’re Single You’ll Understand Day 41

5/20/2012         DAY 41Mafia Hairdresser

I was doing my client Sharron’s hair and I was telling her about my 50 Days of 50 blog and how I intended to write my next entry about my uncomfortable feelings about birthday gifts (especially on this birthday). If you’ve read this blog from the beginning, you know that I have made all of my friends promise with their lives that there would be no parties, and no hoopla, no gifts, and absolutely under no circumstances no joke gifts! If anyone dares to waste their money on a cane or a walker accessorized with an attached rear-view mirror and horn, or a beautifully wrapped package of Depends, or any balloons, napkins, plates or (god forbid) a cake that says “Over The Hill,” I will douse it with gasoline and light it on fire right in front of them.
Well yesterday, David, my boyfriend (he’s much older than me, by 3 months to be exact, but it makes him feel closer to my age if I call him “boy”friend) told me not to buy the video camera that I had been researching to buy on Amazon for upcoming YouTube videos I intend to make. (Can you just die? You’ll be able to see and hear me too! Mafia Hairdresser on YouTube) I asked him why and he got cagey, meaning, he looked down and told me he couldn’t tell me. “Oh come on…” I said, and then I cajoled and threatened until he gave it up that it was my best friends who wanted to buy me something I really wanted for my birthday and he was supposed to get back to them what I wanted. That’s so sweet, was my first thought. And then I began to consider the price while researching the camera that I was originally going to buy myself. I didn’t want my friends to go overboard.
I told Sharron my feelings and she came back with “What’s your problem? You’re single. You know how it is. For once, let someone, other than yourself, buy you what you want.” And then she and I talked about and related to the following: If you are single you are used to buying what you want, when you want. We do not have to buy for kids first, save for their college, nor do we have spouses to buy for us. And we who are without children are not used to giving lists of things we want to need to our family and friends. And since we usually live alone, no one’s going to be privy to our private lists or see what we need. But, if you are single, you are the one who is used to getting the lists—from your friends and family who have kids. Someone once told me that it’s like when you have to pay extra retail taxes if you are a smoker, but it’s not. Being single won’t give me cancer. Anyhoo, single people are also the ones who spend their vacation time and money traveling to the friends and family who have children for their birthdays or special event and holidays and this is hardly ever reciprocated. Additionally, you also have to travel to the parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents and the family members who just won’t travel to you—unless you were married and had kids. What I’m saying is, if you get married, and you “bonus” that marriage with kids, you trump us single people and you get stuff and are expected to give out your lists and registries and you get all the people at your parties.

I’m still technically single, and I’m not used to telling people what I want. I only wish it was one of my friends with kids who was asking for it. I think, from now on, I would feel okay about that. I’ve spent a fortune on those people and their kids.

Turns out the cheap camera on my Amazon wish list if perfect for my needs, guys. Whew. And I’m not just sayin’ that. You’re the best, “Ferndels.”

I leave you with a Sex in the City episode that, I feel, relates to being single and how and why I’ve become unaccustomed to the whole present situation.

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4 thoughts on “50 Days of 50: If You’re Single You’ll Understand Day 41

  1. agree with Carrie & totally related when I saw this episode. I have purchased so many wedding gift, 2nd wedding gifts, baby gifts multiple times. Even gifts for grandchildren. Never, ever have I received a gift from this set of friends. It’s not keeping score, but it’s just a matter of lifestyle & respect. You would think that at some point those people would realize this & respond even slightly generously. But it doesn’t happen. I thought when I bought my first condo, they would think “this is the time to reciprocate”. Didn’t happen. This is you birthday & you should accept with honor gifts from your friends. Enjoy. You deserve it.

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