This is one thing all of us men have to give up when we turn 50: It’s the looking at a twenty five year old and thinking, “Hey, hey, hey. I’d like to tap that,” and then verbalize it. I’m not saying that you have to leave the delusional manner in which you have lived most of your life behind you; I’m just warning you that you cannot continue to speak the dirty things that go in your mind or you will become the creepy old guy.
The creepy old guy is never tolerated for long unless you’re the generous rich alcoholic uncle in the family whom everyone knows will pass out before you actually start reaching for hugs from you nephew or nieces. I don’t care how rich, popular, loud or funny you are in a bar full of your friends, you will repulse them when you talk about how hot your fourteen year old’s math tutor is. Yeah, your guy friends will distance themselves from you when you turn 50 if you keep up with your pathetic and gross behavior. They won’t even wait for their wives to tell them to ditch you.
I know it’s our way, to assert and talk about our manly fantasies, and that’s what they are mostly fantasies (unless you’re gay and have those six pack abs and use the Grindr App). But, just like the fox that can’t reach those grapes, you’re jealous of the fox who can, but you don’t need to talk about what you’d do to the grapes if you had them to all of your friends. We all know what you’d do with the grapes if you could get them. We all know.
This Blog is part of my 50 Days of 50 Blog which will be an eBook July 2013.