I work with a man who is tall, dimpled, full-haired on top, not hairy where one wouldn’t want to be, and has eyes that make women, and men, swoon. So what that he is nice. Plenty of people are nice. But he’s pretty and so much younger than me. He’s so pretty that I once gave him the nicest complement that I could ever give anyone in his “situation.” I cared about him enough to say, “The best thing that could ever happen to you is that a Mack truck runs over your face.” He didn’t even thank me.
Hear me out: All this younger man’s life has been handed to him on a platter. I’d bet that he makes better tips than I do, and his wont care if he cut their bangs crooked or if he ran an hour late for them all because he’s pretty. He probably even had his beauty school teachers fawning over him, giving him extra attention, so he could properly place the perfect highlight once he graduated. More importantly, I bet, if you compared our wild-and-crazy-guy days together, he got laid more than me. If he and I were standing in a bar trying to pick up guys, or (gasp) girls, this guy would definitely trump me. Tall, sapphire blues, perfect square jaw and cheekbones standing next to a sloped nosed, pale, brown-eyed, five foot nine, average, thinning-haired guy with a malicious sense of humor — “Who ya gonna call?”
Don’t get me wrong. We guys are pack dogs. We like to hang around other dogs that will help lure prey or make us look cool to in the jungle. And we even like a few ugly dogs in our pack to make the rest of us look better. I’m just saying, for my friend, I just think he would be a better person, like me, by the time he reached my age if he didn’t have the gift of being so pretty. He certainly won’t have developed as strong a backbone as me without having been endowed with being average looking. Even I would have slacked with my spiritual and psychological growth by relying on my looks if I was pretty.
That’s why I said that my co-worker’s face should be flattened (and then re-worked). He cannot possible have the social skills and humor that an average looking person has had to develop. I just want him to have a more fulfilling life where the education from falling down socially, picking yourself up, and learning how to be funny, talk sports and politics and environmental subjects would make him more interesting than just another pretty face.
When I explained this to my co-worker, after the truck complement, he just looked at me with his gorgeous eyes, for way too long (I almost forgot what we talking about), and then all he could come up with was, “You’re not nice.”
There. I rest my case. It’s a shame that he has so many more years to live a less-than life before gravity rips him to shreds. We’ll be equals then.
Where are you on the scale of 1 to 10 in looks? Has it helped or hindered you? And, if you’re over 50, do you care as much as you used to about your looks?