4/22/2012 Day 14
God damn it if I’m trying to help some people here: namely the men who might be having a hard time with getting older & less desirable which leads to getting laid a lot less. And yet in the past two weeks of posting 50 Days of 50 (of important stuff–like getting laid!) on my Facebook wall or on Twitter I get, like, next to nothing when compared to the accolades, the LIKES, the “awwws” and “how cutes” as I do whenever I post a picture of my dog, Junebug.
It’s been frustrating pouring my heart onto these pages every morning right after walking Olive* and Junebug when more people seem to want to look at cute pictures of a dog for a bleeping fleeting moment and then they use their “precious time” to make a comment about it rather than take a few minutes to write to their congressman about global warming or actually learning how to be a better loving human being like me and read what I’m teaching right here as I torture myself through not drinking for these 50 long bitter days!
(*Olive is my “boyfriends’ lab-doodle” that I play ball with everyday. She actually loves me more but she pretends that she’s still his dog because I’ve taken the time to teach her charity and kindness too.)
Naturally, I wonder what I must be doing wrong. Maybe this 50 thing was off-putting? I know it is to me and that is why I started writing this “self-helper.” I needed some outside advice so I called my friend Silvia (not the 76 year old drinking pro–that’s Sylvia) who is a spiritual and physical councilor. Silvia came over and did a “Lifeline” session with me where I had to ground my root chakra while holding a rock under my crotch while wearing red sunglasses. After being told that I have an anger consciousness which has been ingrained and following me through reincarnations since a complicated birth in a past life, circa 856 A.D., it became clear to me that it was the tone of my writing that had made people shy away from my soul baring stories of wisdom.
I also did some scientific research and found out that the sight of puppies, kittens, small cute furry animals and humans actually incites a visceral feeling of wellbeing and love in humans which makes them happy. So, really, if I dialed back the pissy and flung out a few more pics of Yorkie I might be able reach a larger reader audience share than I have been able to garner in these past 14 days. I feel that this is a simple fix and, even though I might have to dumb-it-down with dull for a few of you lazys, I’m really here to share the love, God damn it.
Or maybe I could just have a f_cking Bloody Mary.
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